IN THE MAGISTRATE COURT OF THE KINGDOM OF ALEXANDRIA
OPENING STATEMENT
THE CROWN SEEKS A LEGAL PRETENSE TO REVERSE STRATTON'S BUSINESS
From late May to early June, Stratton LLC does 25,000 SC in foreign exchange at a 1:5 exchange rate. Affronted by this pricing, Parliament on June 7th passes an exceptionally broad anti-fraud law making this business model illegal.
Stratton's employees, in their typically creative, motivated, and enterprising way, respond to the law by entering a rollicking discourse about exciting and highly questionable new business models which they believe they may be able to squeeze in around the edges of the new legislation -- fake charities, fake banks, Ponzi schemes! During this conversation they show utter and deserved disdain for each other's ideas and intelligence. At no point do they treat any idea as viable and finally, confused and annoyed, they abandon their futile scheming. At the stroke of a pen, Parliament has defeated them.
This is a problem for the Ministry of Justice, which has been trying to convict Stratton for some time as a pretext to fine them heavily and reverse their transactions. (It is also a problem for Stratton's ostensible counsel, who at this point have ratted them out twice, will spend the following two months frantically struggling to give the Crown's prosecutor something to work with, and who will ultimately testify against their own clients about hypothetical evidence destroyed during their employment as counsel.)
Defendants refuse the Ministry its anticipated opportunity to prosecute them by, inconveniently, committing zero crimes. The Crown therefore reinterprets their previous activities as a conspiracy.
THE CROWN'S CONSPIRACY ALLEGATION RAISES LEGAL AND METAPHYSICAL QUESTIONS
Under
the Criminal Code and Procedure Act 19(3), a conspiracy allegation must distinguish "multiple players" involved in that conspiracy, show "intent to commit a crime," prove agreement to "commit that [specific] crime," and demonstrate a specific "overt act in furtherance of the conspiracy."
Unsurprisingly, given Stratton's collective acumen as businessmen and negotiators, the Crown has no apparent luck in figuring out what, if anything, the purported conspiracy would have accomplished. For lack of any better ideas, the Crown characterizes Defendants' failed attempt to agree on anything as the conspiracy's sole "overt act" -- that is, a planned step in the execution of some crime. Having ferreted out this conspiracy to fail to plan a conspiracy, the Crown reconstructs the timeline -- it was arranged on the 9th, agreed to never, then executed on the 7th.
Consistent with their apparent views on causality and the arrow of time, the Crown argues that signing Stratton's NDA created a conspiracy to obstruct justice. By that account, Defendants Mr_GrapeJelly and Maelzarun would have signed the NDA as a first overt act in concealing secrets they did not (yet) know about business dealings that had not (yet) occurred from an investigation that (at the time) did not exist.
THE CASE BECOMES UNRECOGNIZABLE AS A RENDITION OF THE COMPLAINT
During the period between June 7th and the end of the pretrial period, Stratton activity ceases; its "moles" are unable to produce any more deals. Sixty days pass with no evidence of
any criminal scheme. No victims or "victims" appear, except for Talion77 who successfully pleads guilty to scamming himself.
The Crown presents two irreconcilable pictures of the same case. Stratton's conduct was "legal," Crown's counsel grudgingly admits, and Defendants committed no crimes before June 7th; but it was only
technically legal, because it was also "illicit," entailed "victims," and required "restitution." In the complaint, Defendants Mr_GrapeJelly and Maelzarun are only charged with publicly contemplating a list of crimes; in the opening statement, separately and without evidence, they're accused of laundering money in violation of a court order.
THE CROWN HAS ALREADY PUNISHED DEFENDANTS AND SECURED "RESTITUTION"
The Court has struck the Crown's statements in cases where it implied a crime it did not allege, but this has not actually stopped the Crown from continuing to behave that way. The best explanation I can give you for why this keeps happening is that this part of the case -- that is, winning it at trial -- has not been the Crown's priority.
The Crown has spent the entire case trying to reverse Stratton's 25,000 SC of legal business by enacting plea-deals where Stratton employees would pay "restitution" to "victims" of "illicit" conduct that was not criminal. The effect of the entire prosecution has been that Defendants Mr_GrapeJelly and Maelzarun have been unable to enjoy Minecraft roleplay on StateCraft or DemocracyCraft for two and a half months -- because they have been enjoined from using their money. This has been punishment enough -- without a trial -- to drive Defendants completely off the server. In that sense, this prosecution has been successful.
DEFENDANTS FACE ADDITIONAL ILLEGAL FORMS OF PUNISHMENT IF CONVICTED
Having inflicted irreparable harm during the pretrial phase without securing the plea bargains it was apparently seeking, the Crown may choose between completing its prosecution and dropping the case. Defendants, if convicted, would be guaranteed punishment in Redmont under the Treaty of Mutual Cooperation in Fraud Prevention -- which was written in response to this case, after charges had already been filed, in order to ensure that these specific defendants would be punished even if it was otherwise legally impossible to do so.
If the Crown does choose to argue further, the Court cannot convict any defendant. Any punishment made in Redmont would be unlawful in Alexandria under the Statute of Limitations Act 10(1) and 10(2) because it would be made ex post facto as the result of a bill of attainder. Yet the Court cannot do anything about this because such a punishment would be enforced in a jurisdiction where the Court has no power.
Nyeogmi Choi
Director, Public Defense
Kingdom of Alexandria